Three Car Dream Garage: Unreliable Edition

"bhtooefr" (bhtooefr) 01/26/2017 at 17:48 • Filed to: dream garage, consumer reports, volvo, lincoln, cadillac, volkswagen, jeep, gmc, tesla, dodge, chrysler, fiat, ram

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Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to select three of the least reliable cars (or trucks) in the US.

We’ll use Consumer Reports, and their Predicted Reliability scale, available !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . The rules:

Each vehicle must be from a brand that is less reliable than the average. This means your choices are Volvo, Lincoln, Cadillac, Volkswagen, Jeep, GMC, Tesla, Dodge, Chrysler, Fiat, and Ram.

Each vehicle must be new.

Each vehicle must be a different body style.

Each vehicle must be from a separate company - so, as an example, Chrysler, Dodge, Fiat, Jeep, and Ram are all the same company, so you can only pick one vehicle from that entire group. (No dream garage full of Hellcats, sorry.)

You have US $200,000 to spend. Any applicable federal tax credits can be claimed to keep you within that $200,000. Basically, you can blow it all in one place, and then get a couple econoboxes to fill the garage. Or, spread it out more evenly. And, no leasing, you’re going to be stuck with these decisions.

Have fun!

Nibby > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 17:51

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A Jeep Patriot, a Dodge Dart, and a Cadillac ELR.

*vomits forever*

bhtooefr > Nibby 01/26/2017 at 17:52

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You didn’t read rule 4, trade out the Patriot or the Dart for something from Volvo, Lincoln, Volkswagen, or Tesla.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 17:57

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VW Golf R, that sweet new Volvo V90 wagon (I think it’s the 2018 model year), and the leftovers to get an as-loaded-as-possible Ram 1500 or Wrangler. I think all that should come in less than $200k and gives me a vehicle for basically any situation that I’d see myself in.

Nibby > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 17:57

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can I just burn them both instead

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:06

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Sierra 2500 Denali Duramax

Charger R/T Scat Pack

XC90 T8 Inscription

Textured Soy Protein > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:07

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Wait, how are Jaguar and Land Rover not on the list?

bhtooefr > Nibby 01/26/2017 at 18:08

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Why not replace the Dart with a Jetta S 2.0, before you start burning cars? There’s at least one leftover automatic 2015 on a dealer’s lot...

HammerheadFistpunch > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:08

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Should be pretty easy given that terrible cars are often the best.

bhtooefr > Textured Soy Protein 01/26/2017 at 18:09

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Good question. Maybe not enough volume to even make the list or something?

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:10

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ATS V Sedan ~63k

Challenger Hellcat ~66k

XC 90 T8 ~70k

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:13

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Future next gen S2000 owner > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:14

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Cadillac ATS-V

Lincoln Continental

Dodge Viper

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Textured Soy Protein 01/26/2017 at 18:14

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Jaguar has apparently made leaps and bounds of progress in the recent years.

bhtooefr > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/26/2017 at 18:16

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They’re not on the list at all , though. Like, Consumer Reports simply didn’t consider them.

bhtooefr > Future next gen S2000 owner 01/26/2017 at 18:17

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I’m actually going to stop you here on rule #3, body styles.

The Continental’s a sedan, the Viper’s a coupe. The ATS-V is either a sedan or a coupe, meaning something conflicts here.

Honeybunchesofgoats > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:18

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I don’t understand how Lincoln can fare so poorly when Ford does well. Is it just about their average driver being more likely to have issues with the infotainment center?

Anyway.

Optioned out CT6 and Continental, because I like land yachts, then an optioned out 124 Abarth. Fiat’s website is as reliable as their cars, so the last screenshot is just a blank webpage and the price.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:20

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V90

MKZ

2wd Ram 2500, Diesel, regular cab, short box, with a manual trans, diesel powered streetrod.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:21

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Hmm.

Future next gen S2000 owner > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:23

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http://nicecarsinfo.com/dodge/2016-dodge-viper-roadster-review-specs/

Viper convertible.
haha. I win!

bhtooefr > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:25

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I’ll go ahead with my own entry.

Tesla Model S 75, $74,700 as configured after tax credit

Fiat 124 Spider Lusso, $32,285 as configured

GMC Canyon SL 2WD Extended Cab 4-cyl manual, $22,275 as configured, as a truck should be, damnit

I think I’d rather do it that way, than corner myself into the ATS-V for the sports car, and get a Pacifica Hybrid for the hauler.

gmctavish needs more space > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:26

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V90

Wrangler (I’m pretending the Africa is something I can buy)

ATS-V

bhtooefr > Future next gen S2000 owner 01/26/2017 at 18:27

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Nope, gotta be new, and I don’t think there’s a new Medusa lying around.

bhtooefr > Honeybunchesofgoats 01/26/2017 at 18:28

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CT6 and Continental are both sedans, try again.

Vítor > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:35

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Range Rover Sport with the Supercharged V6

Volvo S90 T6

Fiat 124 Spider

Honeybunchesofgoats > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:37

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Oh, doh. I missed that part. Okay, CT6 gets replaced by an optioned out ATS-V ~$80k.

Wobbles the Mind > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:44

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Cadillac CTS V-Sport Premium (~$72,000)

Maserati Levante S (~$88,000)

Volkswagen Golf R Manual w/DCC and Nav (~$40,000)

bhtooefr > Wobbles the Mind 01/26/2017 at 18:46

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I’m honestly not sure whether to allow the Maserati - it’s not on the list of allowable brands, but really, it’s gotta be below average reliability, and every FCA brand on CR’s list is in the below average list.

Wobbles the Mind > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:49

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That’s my thought too, alongside the Alfa Romeo vehicles. But I can always do a loaded Grand Cherokee SRT and that will be around the same price.

Phatboyphil > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 18:56

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GTI/GLI, Fiat 500 Abarth, and GMC Sierra 1500.

Also how is Tesla on the bottom? I thought they “broke” the scale or whatever.

bhtooefr > Phatboyphil 01/26/2017 at 18:57

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They “broke the scale” for the Model S review, which considers more than just reliability.

The Model X tanked their reliability ratings.

bhtooefr > Vítor 01/26/2017 at 18:58

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Can you replace the Range Rover? I know Land Rover can’t have great reliability, but they’re not even on the list, nor is Jaguar to piggyback off of theirs...

Vítor > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 19:13

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Replace the Volvo with a new Continental, Range Rover with a XC90 T8

mazda616 > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 19:26

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Tesla Model S P100D with pretty much every option - $151,200 after “savings.” (Sedan)

Fiat 500 Abarth with pretty much every option - $27,880. (Hatchback)

And, for if I want 4-wheel-drive and/or to feel like a plebeian, I have a pretty much base-tastic Jeep Renegade. The only options I selected were 4-wheel-drive and the power/air group. Because my fat ass needs air conditioning. $20,485.

404 - User No Longer Available > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 19:30

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Fiat 124 Spider

Cadillac ATS-V Sedan

Volkswagen Golf R

To be honest I think that list is somewhat BS, I’m sure Cadillac is only at the bottom because of CUE, and there’s no friggin way Audi and BMW are that high.

My bird IS the word > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 19:34

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not counting sales tax? no math for me tonight!

bhtooefr > mazda616 01/26/2017 at 19:36

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You’re $5,065 over budget (I won’t take the “with savings” price, I want cash price minus $7500), but that’ll be easy to remedy, so I’ll star it anyway.

mazda616 > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 19:38

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Oops. Rookie mistake. I’m sure my local Fiat dealer would work with me.

bhtooefr > My bird IS the word 01/26/2017 at 19:41

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Not counting sales tax, and you mathed so badly that you forgot a car. And you also went double FCA, which is against the rules.

My bird IS the word > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 19:42

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I realized I am so tired and sick that I completely misread the rules

bhtooefr > mazda616 01/26/2017 at 19:45

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Hang on, I messed up here, you went double FCA. Swap out the Renegade or the Abarth for something not from FCA or Tesla.

Frenchlicker > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 20:22

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I hate those ratings, cars have been tanking left and right because radio buttons and other(to me personally) small complaints.

JR1 > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 20:29

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No idea the costs but I am fairly certain it is less than 200k

mazda616 > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 20:32

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I thought Jeep and Fiat are two separate brands, didn’t realize you were encompassing all of FCA together. :(

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > bhtooefr 01/26/2017 at 23:17

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Volvo V90 XC - $55,000

Cadillac CT6 Platinum TT 3.0 V6 AWD - $89,000

Fiat 500 Abarth Cabrio - $26,000

pip bip - choose Corrour > bhtooefr 01/27/2017 at 06:19

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Audi sedan - any

Holden C(r)aptiva V6 auto wagon

Great Wall V240/V200 double cab ute

bhtooefr > pip bip - choose Corrour 01/27/2017 at 06:24

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Somehow, Audi managed to stay off the list, Chevrolet’s not on the list (but you can change your vote to the related GMC Terrain), and Great Wall isn’t sold in the US (and Volvo, the only Chinese manufacturer on the list, doesn’t sell pickups).

pip bip - choose Corrour > bhtooefr 01/27/2017 at 06:29

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i skimmed the criteria and went for local Australian market.

Audi sedan

Chevrolet C(r)aptiva / GMC Terrain V6

Ford Focus DCT

RT > bhtooefr 02/12/2017 at 19:53

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You forgot the king of unreliability.

Land Rover Range Rover SVAutobiography.

And the other king of unreliability, lots of trouble - usually serious.

Lotus Evora 410.

And this legend one needs no introduction, you know it.

Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio.

Yeah, they’re all not on the list. I followed the rest of the rules anyway.

Just tell me with a straight face that a Rangie, Lotus and Alfa are reliable, please.

Amoore100 > bhtooefr 03/05/2017 at 02:40

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My dream V90 Inscription T6 AWD.

$69,615

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

This wonderful six-speed ATS Luxury 2.0 Turbo.

$46,700

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

The gorgeous new Pacifica Hybrid—finally a proper American luxury minivan.

$48,035

Total: $164,350, an amazing garage, and $35,650 remaining to mend things.

RT > bhtooefr 09/10/2017 at 00:55

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Guessing this currency converts. Pretty sure VW and Volvo are usually reliable.

Regardless:

Volvo XC90 Excellence, for that interior. Just over 100k USD.

Dodge Viper, around 90k USD.

That gives me a leftover spot to buy a used VW Corrado VR6! Nice.

I could also get a Fiat Panda with spare change.

This was a very generous challenge, thanks.

bhtooefr > RT 09/10/2017 at 01:01

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This challenge was new only, FWIW, gotta swap out the Corrado/Panda for something new.

RT > bhtooefr 09/10/2017 at 07:45

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Swap out? That just leaves 10k USD for a new car, pretty sure nothing goes for that much among these brands anyway.